NC: You mentioned Germans and Swiss during the show. In terms of good crowds/bad crowds, what have been your experiences so far?
Falco: Well, it is a bit silly to talk about national cliches but, in terms of rock crowds, they tend to be true. Swiss and Dutch crowds are very quite, polite, they’re like… like church or something and it’s a very humble experience, whereas Germans are usually kicking the shit out of each other before you’ve even started playing. In that sense [this] audience reminded us a little of the German audience. You know, there was a certain acutely violent character which you couldn’t really escape.
NC: How do you handle bad crowds? Do you really tell them off?
Falco: We’ll say something like: “Oh, you’re so quiet, like mice, what do we have to do to excite you, take our trousers off?”
NC: Ha ha. I heard you say in an interview something like “Parisians can go fuck a brick”. What’s that all about?
Falco: Well, the thing is you can go to… I don’t know if you’ve been to Paris?
NC: Yeah.
Falco: You can confuse it, you can go to Paris and think that you’re in France, you ARE literally in France, but France is about more than just Paris, like Britain is about more than London. The Parisian character is so conceited to a degree that it’s an awful place to play a show, whereas France in general, you can play Strasbourg or Lyon, it’s a magnificent place to play. There’s something really… Well, it doesn’t need any qualification – Paris is a really shit place to play a show. People lean on the barrier, they look at you… “Oh, why are you here?” You tell them to go and fuck themselves and they don’t like that.
NC: So what’s with Snow Patrol? In Belgium, at Pukkelpop, you introduced yourselves as Snow Patrol and tonight there was also something with Snow Patrol…
Falco: We just like to say that: Hi, we’re Snow Patrol, we’re Coldplay… We’re U2. It’s our British idea of a joke. It’s our irony in practice.
NC: And it’s certain bands, always?
Falco:Well, yeah the softer ones… Occasionally we might say: “Hello, we’re Megadeth.”
NC: Do you plan it?
Falco: I just walk towards the mic and go Hello, we are – substitute funny band.
NC: What would you be doing if the whole music thing hadn’t panned out?
Falco: Crying!
NC: Crying?
Falco: Non-stop. The problem I have is I’ve put so much into music for so many years that I don’t really have a plan B, I’m a writer and I’ve had things published, but not in way that would constitute a living. I’ve done lots of office jobs.
NC: What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?
Falco: Ah, the worst job… probably a music shop.
NC: Really?
Falco: Yeah… Well, have you ever worked in a music shop?
NC: No.
Falco: See, ideally you would assume that it was this really idealistic thing, that you could put whatever songs you liked, talk about music, but no. In Wales it’s just the Manic Street Preachers. The last time I worked in a music shop… I’m quite old, yeah? It was the Manic Street Preachers, Catatonia, the Evita Soundtrack by Madonna had just come out. That song – All by myseeelf [sings] – every day. And also the Spice Girls. I’ve never drunk so much in my life. I would go home and just do a bottle of whiskey. They were sad, sad days. I’ve done jobs for my local council, social housing and things, that’s a rewarding job, but a depressing job. But I’d say the record shop is the worst because of the difference between the fantasy and what you actually…
NC: Right… Are you involved in this debate about the new anti-piracy laws?
Falco: I don’t believe people should be prosecuted for it, but I believe people should be informed as to the consequences of their actions. And for certain bands, particularly bands that exist on the kind of level we do that we’ll simply cease to exist in a couple of years if it continues along the way it’s going. At least we’ll cease to exist in the sense of full-time touring. We’ll still make music, but there’s no way we’ll get to come and play anywhere…
NC: What’s going to be the next single off the album?
Falco: It’s going to be a double A-side of Arming Eritrea and You Need Satan More Than He Needs You. That’s going to be somewhere around Christmas and then after Christmas it’s going to be Throwing Bricks at Trains.
NC: This record is more pop than the last one. Was that planned or..?
Falco: No, it’s just the way it worked out. You owe it to your music to let the music , the way it naturally happens, to form around you and, if you bring too much of an agenda to it, then it sounds like an agenda. It’s a question of letting the music be defined by you rather than the other way around.
NC: What’s your writing process?
Falco: Our writing process is in the room together, loud. Unfortunately, the way we make music, I can’t really write songs and then bring it in. We write, I record everything with just a dictaphone and then I take it away and write melodies.
NC: What bands have you personally been into lately? New or old?
Falco: I don’t really like music. The thing is I like a lot of comedy and I like a lot of drama…
NC: So what are the influences?
Falco: Hm, band wise, a lot of British post-punk: Gang of Four, Fall, the Clash and then a lot of the American stuff after that, but I watch a lot of comedy, I watch a lot of films, I read a lot. The reason I make music is because I don’t hear a lot of music that fulfills my needs, whereas I watch a lot of comedy, particularly British comedy. So funny, I couldn’t do better than that so I don’t try to write it.
NC: Like what?
Falco: Stuff like Peep Show and stuff like The Thick of It, which is like a political satire. That’s really funny, if you get the chance… You might need to watch it with subtitles because a lot of it is Scottish people talking and they’re difficult to understand at the best of times, but so funny and such inventive swearing. I think The Thick of It has some of the best swearing in the world. I’d go as far as to say that The Thick of It is 10/10 and I don’t say that about anything.
The best two albums in the world ever though for me are Wire’s 154 and Chairs Missing – they’re the best albums in the history of the world.
NC: We saw them last summer.
Falco: Well, I don’t know how good are they now, but back in the day, like 30 years ago they were the best band.
Needless to say, the show was amazing. Falco said towards the end: “We’re definitely gonna be coming back because you’ve made us feel like Def Leppard or Whitesnake” and then proceeded to hide behind the amplifier with Jack and Kelson, since the dressing room was at the opposite side of the venue, while we cheered for an encore. Lovely fellows. Substantial drinkers. Massive headache the following day.
You can follow the touring adventures of FOTL here. Anything with Falco’s uniquely acerbic (thank you, word of the day) wit makes for an interesting read.
